I've come to believe on an intuitive as well as scientific level that health and wellness are a choice. Some who have experienced catastrophic loss or a life-threatening illness might not agree with me. But we've all read/heard about those miracles- people with stage four cancer going into complete remission, someone who was given slim chance of walking again finding their way to upright movement and many who have turned unimaginable loss or challenge into positive life's work. People have gone so far as to say they are actually grateful for the adversity. I am always inspired by these stories but haven't always translated them into my own life. Perhaps it's because I think those people know something I don't or are somehow better/stronger than I am. But I realize now that how we perceive the events of our lives is a choice. We can either be optimistic or pessimistic. We can approach life from a vantage point of abundance or deficit. It's up to us. It's really old habits that hold us back; patterns of behavior ingrained maybe from childhood that have never been questioned or challenged.
I like to use the simple example of weather. Have you noticed that many people constantly complain about the weather (even though there's not a thing we can do about it)? One day I woke up and it was gray, cold and rainy and I thought, "what if I think of all of the good things about this kind of day rather than lamenting?" I came up with a whole long list of things like- it makes us appreciate the sunny ones all the more, it nourishes the flora and makes our crops grow and even, I don't have to water the lawn today (yes!). There's a positive and a negative spin to anything. And I've asked myself, if it is proven to be healthier to have a positive outlook than a negative one, why don't more people choose the light rather than the dark? I've observed that these habits of mind can become so familiar that they constitute our comfort zone even though paradoxically they don't serve us well. Pretty interesting.
But what are some tools to affect change in our outlook that subsequently impact the optimal functioning of our bodymind? As a young dancer I was introduced to yoga and meditation and I remember not being able to sit still for that long. Life for me was about physical catharsis moving through space and feeling exhilarated. I was a thrill seeker who didn't discover the benefits of these kinds of activities- somatics that require comfort with silence/stillness to tap into a whole other landscape- until much later in life. When I eventually surrendered to diaphragmatic breathing and vipassana (insight) meditation, it opened a space for me to look at my habits of mind and body, to bring them into the light and decide which ones to keep and which I should reject. I found that there were many beliefs and knee-jerk reactions that I hadn't even chosen but were rather inherited as a part of my existing environment and people in it. It was thrilling to discover I have choices.
Knowing something and knowing it are two very different things. We can cognitively be aware of of things and still never really get what they are all about. We all know we should lead healthier lives; eat better, exercise more, use fewer substances. For me, it wasn't until I really felt these things in my body that my choices shifted. I used to have at least one glass of wine every night. It was kind of a ritual and a release after a busy day. But it wasn't until after I stopped drinking that I discovered that it never really made me feel good in the first place. I was so used to the fact that it made me tired (I was a blast at parties) and gave me a headache the next morning, that I didn't even know life without it. And I'm not suggesting that wine is bad for everyone; there is evidence to the contrary. But for me, I am happier having made another choice. And choices are personal. As much as I value my bodily health, I've made the choice to have the occasional french fries or piece of chocolate cake. These are sensory pleasures that I won't deny myself for the rest of my life. But a baseline nutritional regimen of healthy fuel for my body allows me to justify the indulgences. Part of being human is to experience life fully and everything is a choice (risk/reward ratio) from moment to moment.
I know from my own experience that this metaphor holds true for other aspects of my life. It's easy to become a victim of circumstances- relationships, jobs, areas where we feel stuck and unable to overcome or rise above. Knowing that we have options can be incredibly empowering. Really believing in our ability to positively influence our destiny however requires the courage to leave our comfort zone and interrupt these habits that can be toxic. I used to experience road rage, especially when someone in front of me went below the speed limit. It made me crazy and I would tap into a syndrome of toxic stress and frustration that was totally unnecessary. I'm a big fan of Pema Chodron, the Buddhist teacher and mother who is incredibly wise but also incredibly human, having lived a regular life before she chose the path of her Dharma (life's purpose). In one of her books she talks about road rage and interrupting this self-defeating habit by imagining we are the other driver who might have just lost a loved one or are elderly and forgot momentarily where they are. Everyone has a story. And I can tell you from experience that it is infinitely more pleasant to be patient and generous of spirit than angry and negative. So why not choose health and happiness, kindness and generosity, acceptance and understanding? Why not indeed.
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