We seem to associate rebirth with Springtime when the earth wakes up and the flowers and trees bloom again. But as we approach the Winter Solstice on Friday, December 21st , I am reminded that this time of year also represents a New Beginning. This day is literally the shortest day of the year- the day with the least amount of light- followed by the slow, steady return of the sun with the Spring Solstice on March 20th. All of our traditions this time of year, Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali, Kwanzaa are festivals of light, gathering together families and friends to bring light into a dark world and to celebrate the start of the solar year and the rebirth of the Sun.
More and more during this festive season, I look for meaning beyond the parties and the
overwhelming consumerism. The Solstice reminds me of the dual sides of our own natures, the light and the dark; the light of our goodness (the divine self) and the darker side of our nature as counterpoint, reflect the balance in the Universe. But in our haste to beat the crowds or meet the next commitment, we sometimes miss the chance to pause and say a kind word or help somebody who is struggling. When I was a young dancer living in NY, there were years that I wasn’t able to go home for Christmas and instead volunteered to serve Christmas dinner at a shelter in the city. Don’t get me wrong, I loved all of the times with my boys watching their happiness at opening presents during Hanukkah and on Christmas morning. I enjoyed indulging all of us in the traditions of the season as well as the memories of the “embarrassment of riches” I received myself. But looking back, there was something deeply satisfying about simply extending the kindness of serving a meal to those not as fortunate as myself.
I love the notion of kindness. More and more people are rediscovering the importance of these profoundly simple things. I had a plaque hanging in my office at the university for many years that simply said “Be Kind”. It was a welcome reminder for me and those around me of this humble but powerful tool. But kindness goes even deeper than letting someone go ahead of you in the grocery store as a matter of good upbringing. Kindness for me has been associated with the idea of grace or “divine assistance” which relates to the fact that giving of ourselves in even small ways is a deeply spiritual act. Buddhism elevates loving-kindness (Maitri) as the one human attribute to be cultivated above all others. And it’s a whole different experience to think of those little gestures of selflessness as spiritual. When I slow down long enough to do this, I seem to make a connection with the other person and even with myself that reminds me of what is really important at the end of the day.
And kindness should not just be reserved for others. We should also practice grace towards ourselves. After all, if we treat others with kindness but don't respect ourselves enough to engage in self-care, we are missing the greatest opportunity of all to bring light into a dark world. So as we bustle about trying to make everybody's dreams come true and live up to the plentiful expectations of the holidays, take a beat every now and then (along with a few deep breaths) and honor the incredible light within by acknowledging that, in the midst of all the wrapping paper, you are the greatest gift of all.
"In the end, only kindness matters."
Jewel 1998
What a gorgeous meditation on 'kindness,' France. Thank you.