Recently there was a seismic shift in my life. Actually, there were a few. But one change was what really propelled me into this next chapter, The Seasoned Bodymind. I reconnected with a friend of almost 40 years (we met at Lamaze class in NYC in1979). We were also single mothers within the first year of our boys' lives. Quite a bond. A year and a half ago, she was diagnosed with stage four cancer and this brought us back together. We've had the cherished opportunity to live together for the last 6 months and it's been incredible picking up where we left off a lifetime ago. Unexpectedly, we became catalysts for change in each other- our mastery in very different areas helped both of us to see differently. My eyes were opened to physical environments; textures, colors, light- in a new way. As an accomplished designer (of interiors and everything else in her life), she took her knowledge of feng shui and helped me transform my home with attention to energy flow. Together we cleared away the clutter (Before I Begin, I Clean Up) to allow energy in again and rearranged each room with attention to its unique reflection of me and the puropse of the space. In the bargain it triggered a kind of personal transformation.
It's not easy to watch somebody you love go through an experience like my friend is going through. You butt up against your helplessness and mortality in one fell swoop. But it's also inspired my love of facilitating change from the vantage point of my experiences- one thing I did have to offer her. Not having been able to feel herself as powerful and whole for so long weighed her down, physically and mentally. I introduced her to concepts of energy paths in her body and how to look at herself and activities in a whole new way (Alexander Technique- Head Over Heels). I taught her a conditioning regimen with attention to dynamic alignment and muscular balance. I encouraged her to change some habits nutritionally. I taught her breathing techniques to release tension in her body, impacting her outlook in positive ways. At this time of change for me, it was a practice-ground to bring together everything I had learned and discovered for myself- the brain science, anatomy/kinesiology, mindfullness, diaphragmatic breathing, body awareness- how profound the bodymind connection really is.
And I have witnessed a transformation in her as well as myself. It's been incredibly empowering for both of us to see her upright and seeming to be taller than I even remember her to be. To be stronger and more balanced and to have all of this reflected in a more positive frame of mind. But a key ingredient in her success has been her committment and attention to changing what was no longer serving her well; I find her extraordinary in that way. Many people seem to work hard on some level, but don't bring their whole self to the task at hand. I'm lucky enough to also be like that; when I put my mind to something....look out! (You Can Lead a Horse to Water...) Nobody else can make you better, we have to do the work ourselves- to bring our informed attention to our intention. As my friend progressed, adding layers of awareness that accumulated over time, she began to feel the benefits. This inspired her to continue to work hard, even when she didn't feel like it. And she always felt better from this creative approach to her health and wellness- striving to go beyond where she was before, with aware attention to the balance of neither over nor under-doing.
Little by little I realized that this is my life's purpose right now. To bring my empassioned experience of the bodymind to others and in doing so, honing further my understanding of the human condition. I've realized that some not-so-welcome changes in my life have precipitated other changes that have been remarkable. I now know that for every ending there is a beginning- the one door closing, another opening thing. It is been an opportunity for me to take stock and to decide how I want to reinvent myself in the next chapter. The new improved me.
We can be angry and resist things that happen to us, or we can embrace change as an opportunity for introspection and renewal, to the ultimate goal of realizing our best selves. The Buddhist philosophy that adversity is an opportunity for awakening has been a powerful notion for me. And it has always proven to be true. When things are going along smoothly, we don’t have to dig deeply to discover our most important values and truths. So there’s something to be said for having to rise from the ashes. We’ve all experienced those times and I’m afraid we will meet them again down the road.
And that’s where I am right now. At that scary, exhilarating precipice where taking a leap of faith is the only logical course. Whether it is a career or relationship change, an illness or any other calatclysmic shift, a crack or breach in life as we knew it can burst open to shiny new possibilities. I've always fancied myself a catalyst; that's what I've loved about teaching and coaching. To provide another set of eyes through which to see things based on a lifetime of passionate delving into the bodymind. To share with others what I've discovered about the important way our sensations inform our thoughts and how those thoughts then provide an opportunity to choose the way they get stored in both our cognitive and neuromuscular memories.
Change can precipitate a range of bodily experiences, the biggest being fear. And we all know what happens when we're afraid- the fight-flight response with shallow chest breathing, tight raised shoulders and the flooding of the body with toxic stress hormones. Whereas triggering the sympathetic nervous system can be useful in situations of danger, to live in a constant or frequent state of stress can be extremely harmful and is one major cause of the high incidence of many kinds of disease in our society.
But given the miraculous relationship between the mind and the body, we can interrupt this syndrome and choose yet another outcome. Taking a beat to do just a few deep, diaphragmatic breaths (belly breaths) to release tension and create a spaciousness in the body that loops back to the mind- to send the communication to release into change with the fundamental belief that all will be well- is the far preferable course. The healthy, happy bodymind choice.
#whathteflux #bodymindconnection #singlemothers #adversityandawakening #diaphragmaticbreathing #fengshui #reinventyourself #fightflight #toxicstress #leapoffaith #releaseintochange
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