Socrates once said: “The unexamined life is not worth living”. Somewhere along the line I adopted this philosophy and try hard to look at my habits, and resist making assumptions and drawing conclusions without thoughtful scrutiny. But I admit that it's way easier to go with the flow of what has already been done and what others do.
In my Wednesday post High Time, I share my concern about the role substances play in our culture. Certainly most of our social interactions center around drinking (at least), and we condition ourselves to associate medicating ourselves with relaxation and being happy. And then something happens close to home-- a car accident, an overdose, a suicide-- to make us sit up and take notice.
Awareness is the first step in making different choices in our lives-- taking ownership of each aspect that makes us who we are and which comprise the myth (life support system) we've constructed for ourselves. Much of who we are and what we do we're born into-- a specific culture based on our parents, geography, socio-economic status, etc. It is only later that we are tasked with choosing our priorities for ourselves.
Living an examined life is a choice only we can make. But if you are like I am, grappling with how to shift the emphasis from one of habitual dependence on substances to something more in line with who I am now, here are some discoveries I've made about triggers to avoid and alternatives to try instead.
STUCK IN A RUT-- My son said to me after a scary alcohol-related close-call, "I know I should quit, but I won't have any friends if I do." Yah, it's courageous to swim against the tide, but consider the alternatives. And if we don't encourage the next generation to take a stand against excessive substance use, they will pass it on to their children and on it goes. And the consequences get more dire. So here are some things that need examination:
Friend Groups- When social interactions rely heavily on friends who display potential alcohol or drug problems, it can be difficult to chart your own course unless you let go of some of them. On the other hand, you might take the risk and be a catalyst to others making better choices of their own.
Social/Media- When someone struggling with emotional problems sees other people online who appear to be happy, attractive, and enjoying life, it can make them feel further socially isolated. Just an awareness that what we see is often not the reality, can take the pressure off to either emulate or medicate.
Learned Environments- Places can also create a whole host of triggers. From going to a bar for ‘after work drinks’, to a specific spot while home alone, to a particular social hangout, these places can be associated with cravings. When behaviors are repeated, these learned habits can be hard to break.
MAKE YOUR MOVE-- As you might expect, the premise of my discoveries centers around making a deeper connection with your body as an alternative to interrupting the stress response (the bottom line in our substance urges) in the same old ways. First of all, our bodies naturally produce all of the chemicals we need (endorphins, seratonin, dopamine, oxytosin) to achieve a state of release, calm and sometimes even euphoria better than any substance I've ever taken.
Change It Up- Instead of meeting friends for drinks after work, why not suggest a workout, bike ride, hike or a yoga class? You will feel blissful and calm and healthy and less likely to feel like you need something to de-stress after a busy day.
Try Something New- Accumulating new resources is key to changing old habits of bodymind. Take a Qigong or Tai Chi class and see how you like it. Or yoga if it's not part of your regular somatic options already. All are designed around aware breathing which is key to tapping into both self-awareness and the parasympathetic nervous system, both necessary to affect change in altering reality in a more holistic way.
Phase Out- When you do choose to meet for a drink, maybe try a wine spritzer and transition to sparkling water with a splash of cranberry and lemon. Refreshing and doable without a lot of hoopla. And if friends don't like your new leaf, what kind of friends are they really?
I admit that it's Easier Said Than Done to make different choices in our lives. But we humans rise to all sorts of challenges on a daily basis and nothing is more vital than our own health and wellbeing and that of our children. To Mind Your Body is to live a life examined.
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