I know a thing or two about bodies. After all, I've lived in mine for nearly 67 years. I've trained it to to do extraordinary things, injured it, rehabilitated it, given birth with it (twice), traveled the globe in it. I've explored, examined and learned from my body. And I am grateful for all that it has taught me.
Don't get me wrong, my body is far from perfect. Aging has been no help. Plus, I was reckless with my body in my youth. And sometimes disrespectful. I pushed it to its limits in pursuit of catharsis and exhilaration, rebellion and curiosity, and still it always came back to teach me the lessons I needed to learn.
I even shattered my leg in a skateboarding accident when I was13 and became a professional dancer in spite of it. My body never failed me. After each surgery she (my bodess) seemed to know that what I needed most was to continue to connect with her as though my life depended on it. How's that for loyalty?
I learned many of my lessons late and rather threw myself head-long into every physical experience as though there was no tomorrow. Being careful was never on my radar. Luckily drinking gave me hangovers and those 8am ballet classes followed by 8 hours of rehearsal kept me somewhat on the straight and narrow. But I was clueless, uninformed and too busy to delve deeply into how to best care for my body. Surprising, given that she was basically everything to me. What's the saying "better late than never"?
Aristotle said, "Teaching is the highest form of understanding." And it was becoming a teacher that set me on the path of true awareness of my bodymind. Until then, I was busy doing rather than being mindful about how and why I was doing what I was doing.
Once I had accumulated some serious injuries and was tasked with teaching the next generation of dancers, I did the deep dive into the natural functioning of the human body, the science and somatics, with a determination to train others to understand how to practice in keeping with the way the body and mind are designed to work-- synergistically. I was 40 and it saved me.
But predictably, I continued to push my body too far sometimes. I'm hard-wired to do that. Plus I met a man who I say "makes me braver" in adventurous ways other than dancing-- skiing, cycling, sailing, etc. And I did sustain more injuries. And always, my body rose to the occasion.
Two years ago, after my second hip replacement I vowed to protect my body from then on--- no more hurting myself. Nothing else to prove. So I made a shift to spending more time coaching and writing than teaching. And this created even more space for my lifetime of lessons from my bodymind to synthesize, ready to pass-on to whomever I can convince of their fundamental importance to personal discovery and longevity.
But our bodies as biography are far more than the scars and wrinkles-- way beyond the outward manifestation of the choices we've made and experiences we've had. The truth is, that in addition to our cognitive memory, we also have embodied memory (Embodied Cognition). All of the events of our lives and the emotional responses to these, live within the neuromuscular tissue in our body. And sometimes our bodies even remember things we don't.
About 6 years ago I went to a doctor of Chiropractic Biophysics for a minor injury I sustained to my knee. During his thorough intake, including a full set of x-rays, he reviewed with me the areas of my musculoskeleton that needed attention. He basically read my biography through touch and visual representations, of everything I had experienced in my life; my teenage broken leg, back injuries, foot reconstructions, hip replacements, etc. At the end he said, "and then there's the serious injury you sustained to your cervical spine". I had no idea what he was talking about.
After a series of adjustments, he took me into another room for traction and proceeded to put one weighted strap around my chin pulling my head back and another around my neck pulling it forward. It reminded me of some grisly medieval instrument of torture, but I surrendered to the experience-- I figured he knew what he was doing.
It took a few minutes but all of a sudden I began sobbing and images of a brutal assault I had endured when I was 33 came flooding back to me. Evidently the trauma was so painful, I had completely blocked it from my memory. That is until my body reminded me. Every moment reappeared in stunning detail, along with the feelings of shame and disbelief that prevented me from ever speaking of it to anybody and instead pushing it deep into my unconscious. I never sought medical attention, nor did I inform the police. I was a mother and I had a job and this never happened to me. End of story.
It took about a year after that first chiropractic visit-- I was almost 60 at the time-- before I got up the courage to go back to treatment. Somehow I knew that the healing would come from confronting the experience in my body and bringing it into the light. It's been over 5 years now that I've been going to Dr. Tom and each time I go into traction to heal my body, my mind and heart come closer to finding self-forgiveness and understanding for making such a dangerous choice. My body continues to teach me the lessons I need to learn.
I've always had a profound relationship with my body; I felt most myself when I took my first dance class-- like coming home to a place I'd never been before-- and my body intuition has faithfully guided me in my life. I've only tripped-up when I didn't listen to my body, as with the man I allowed into my world when I knew I shouldn't have. She has taught me to embrace being a risk taker rather than living from fear. But I've learned to better choose my risks and to have reverence for the body that so eloquently describes me.
My parting advice is to really honor your body-- listen to and cherish what the body knows often better than we do. Utilize the vast range of your capabilities but take care of yourself, no matter what your age and stage. Respect the way you treat your body and don't endlessly test the limits as I did. Mind Your Body as integral to who you are, so that your Body As Biography will tell of a life lived with joy and exhilaration, true sensory awareness and deep knowing only your body can awaken in you.
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