We all live according to certain values or core beliefs, whether we think about these or not. Every day we are making decisions based on these fundamental truths that provide meaning and structure in our lives and work. Each choice we make and position we take reflects this essential aspect of who we are.
In my Wednesday post, As We Are I suggest that what we believe is based on a world view that is subjective-- maybe we assume that things are as we see them to be, but we only have to look at the divisive world we live in to realize that opposing realities, perceptions, indicate otherwise. Sure, we could assume that those who don't see things the way we do are just wrong, but living an examined life requires more scrutiny.
We are each born into a value system we haven't chosen, and it is our responsibility to assess these beliefs according to our true nature and choose what we hold to be most important in our lives. Values can/should change as we evolve and learn new things, so taking an inventory periodically will help us make the tough decisions in personal and professional situations, but also in taking a stand on the larger issues facing the world.
When the things that we do and the way we behave match our values, life is usually good. If not, it can be a real source of unhappiness. For instance, if one of your core values is a belief in the importance of the family but you work 70 hours a week, you will inevitably feel the conflict. If the Christian tenet of "do unto others" is a foundation principle of yours but you don't put this into practice, well something will feel wrong, or should.
Here's my version of a process for taking a look at your belief system. I hope you find it as interesting and helpful as I did. Before you begin, it's first important to create space so that your answers are intuitive rather than cerebral. The best way to access this state is through a simple breathing exercise (Umbrella Breathing).
1. TAKE YOUR OWN INVENTORY- To define your personal values is to discover what is most important to you. A good way of starting to do this is to look back on your life – to identify when you felt really good, and really confident that you were making good choices.
Step 1- When were you the happiest?
- What were you doing?
- Who were you with?
- Why did this/these make you happy?
Step 2- When were you the most proud?
- Find examples from your career and personal life.
- What were you doing?
- Who were you with?
- What made you proud?
Step 3- When did you feel the most satisfied?
- What need or desire was fulfilled?
- How and why did the experience give your life meaning?
- What does this tell you about yourself/ your life?
2. PICK AND CHOOSE- Based on your above discoveries, now choose 6-8 of your most cherished values. There are hundreds of choices, but here are a few to get you started:
Financial Security; Compassion; Health/Fitness; Nature; Accomplishment; Justice; Creativity; Dependability; Loyalty; Beauty; Equality; Bravery; Gratitude; Love; Honor; Empathy; Connection/Relationships; Learning; Leadership; Service; Survival; Honesty; Self-Preservation; Security; Adventure; Family; Work; Success; Calm; Freedom; Other___; Other ___.
3. SWEAT THE DETAILS- Now take your list of values and prioritize from the most to the least important. This is the most important step, because, when making a decision, you'll have to choose between solutions that may satisfy different values. This is when you must know which value is more important to you.
Values “are the principles that give our lives meaning and allow us to persevere through adversity,” according to psychologists Barb Markway and Celia Ampel. And it is critical during these troubled times to be clear about what we believe-- not only will this process help to make everyday decisions easier, but it will also define our positions in the larger social order. This simple exercise should just be the beginning as you Mind Your Body and get to the heart of your true beliefs.
“I had discerned the ways in which we had been sculpted by a tradition given to us by others, a tradition of which we were either willfully or accidentally ignorant."
Educated by Tara Westover
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