Don't get me wrong, I'm no scrooge. Quite the opposite. I'm inclined instead to want to make everyone's dreams come true. But raise your hand if you find this time of year a bit overwhelming. On top of end-of-year projects and deadlines, the frenzy of shopping and wrapping, consumerism perpetrated by the retail industries, proves a buzzkill to the joy of the season.
I actually love this time of year. All the traditions for bringing light into a dark world, family and friends coming together in the spirit of giving. Whereas it's easy to attribute the custom of holiday gift-giving to corporate marketing efforts, it actually originated from pagan rituals like Saturnalia held around the Winter Solstice before the early third century AD. When Christianity folded these rituals into Christmas, the justification for bearing gifts was redirected to the Three Wise Men, the Magi, who gave gifts to the infant Jesus.
The Jewish tradition of giving gifts is actually relatively new. Originally it was the practice of giving Hanukkha gelt (Yiddish for money, though now usually used to mean chocolate ones), celebrating the ancient Jews’ ability to make their own coins as a symbol of the independence they gained in the battles that the festival of lights commemorates. Giving gifts for Hanukkah is also a mostly American phenomenon, owing much to the influence of Christmas. But remaining true to the ways of Jewish tradition in the face of the appealing customs of the larger culture, led to the creation of Hanukkha. Eight presents plus the lighting of the menorah candles one a day, is a symbol of how long the days-worth of oil kept the lamps burning in the temple after the miraculous defeat of their Greek-Syrian oppressors. Really, though, the traditional Jewish holiday for giving gifts is Purim, in the spring.
In Northern Europe during the 1800's gift-giving was associated with Christmas begging. Christmas involved an exchange between the social classes when bands of young men, often raucous, would "wassail" from home to home and demand handouts from the gentry. This tradition eventually moved from a hell-raising public display to a quieter family-oriented convention. Before long, the “naughty and nice” paradigm that suggests that presents are prizes for good behavior, became woven into the fabric of the familial version during the Protestant Reformation when the focus of gift-giving became children. The custom spread to the United States around the 19th century.
Ok, so we come by the tradition of giving presents honestly. And we certainly can't blame the retail industry for capitalizing on this opportunity that now affords a significant portion of annual profits for many companies. But I can't help thinking something has been lost from the original inspiration of the gifts from the Magi, or Wise Men, to the new-born baby Jesus. It's a lovely story of paying homage to another by bestowing thoughtful, personal and deeply symbolic presents.
As much as my family loves the Christmas traditions and do look forward to celebrating together each year, we laugh as we open presents from Christmas lists with helpful links to the exact items we subsequently wrap and feign surprise when we open. We have gotten so pragmatic and deprived of enough time to think deeply about creative alternatives to the store-bought options. When I was younger, I remember giving more personal gifts like a denim shirt I embroidered for my sister and a recipe book I made of all of my favorites for a friend. I even gave such things as babysitting services. And I can tell you that the satisfaction of doing/making something for someone I cared about was enormously satisfying.
In this an age of taking a stand (the Me Too Movement, Black Lives Matter, the Environmental Movement, etc) we are given, as a world, to reversing trends that no longer serve us well. I challenge each of us this Holiday Season, no matter what festival of lights we celebrate, to give at least one, non-commercial present to each person closest to us. Believe me, it's been long enough since I've done this, that it will be a challenge for me too to think-up and find the time to make this happen. But even something like a certificate for three, ten-minute head rubs (my partner's fav) will express more than the gift itself (cost $0- $5) and might even lead to greater joys (smile). If we each have the courage to do this, the emphasis shifting from quality over quantity, not only will we not spend the coming year paying off as much credit card debt, but we'll be contributing to a deeper, more loving connection to one another.
On that note, I'm off to finish my Christmas shopping, braving crowds, traffic and a barrage of one-day-only enticements. And I'll be thinking of that one thing I will enjoy giving above all the others. A result of pondering someone I love and what I have personally to offer that might make them happy. Of course, to do this we need to slow down, engage in some conscious breathing to connect with our body, to tap into our visceral sense of those we want to pay homage to for the important part they play in our lives. If you Mind Your Body to access your most creative and intuitive self, you'll be surprised at what you will come up with. And who knows, we might even set a new trend in this Season of Giving. Wishing you Joyful (and meaningful) Holidays my Friends!
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